Is it so wrong?

Babies are wonderful. Babies are special. Babies are sweet (as well as burpy, smelly, poopy, cry-y, and needy. But these things are always worth the trouble/annoyance/stress!)

A lot of moms I've gotten to know since quitting my job to stay home with Ben are starting on their #2s and #3s (or more). Some babies are already here and some babies are still on their way. Needless to say, I've got more than my fair share of opportunities to meet some of these new little people. The chance to congratulate their moms and dads on their new arrival. The chance to make give obligatory platitudes like, "You'll be a great big brother/sister!" to less-than-thrilled toddlers and preschoolers (It's so funny to meet some of these only-children-turned-first-borns. They have this look on their face that says, "WTF!? Seriously!? Who ordered this...this...well whatever it is?? MOM!!! This will not do. No ma'am. Take it back. NOW!")

I'm truly happy for my friends and their families. But why is it that I'm not jumping to the front of the line to hold and cuddle one of these sweet little pooper pies? I see a baby coming my way and takes just about every ounce of self-control I have not to do a 180 and keep walking in the opposite direction.

I won't deny that I've used my own child as a baby-shield. In fact, not that long ago, at a very eye-opening occasion which included the supervision of a 5 month old, a 3 year old, and an almost-2-year-old, I literally grabbed my two year old in an effort to stop my poor husband from handing me a crying, hysterical 5 month old. The look on my face probably read something like, "No way, buster! Got my hands full already. That drool elf is all yours."

I like babies. I do. If I play my cards right, we'll have another one in this house before long. But I think what I really mean is that I like MY babies. Other babies are fine. They're nice, but they're not mine. They're not a part of me. I don't get other babies. I sometimes don't even get my own, but he's mine. Is it so wrong that I'm not chomping at the bit to love yours? Frankly, I think it's healthy. And will definitely keep us down to a foursome instead of a Duggar-style clan.